Update

Hey I just wanted to share with you all my quite time this morning. Please don’t look for clarity, cause I just tried to write down my heart. Enjoy!


I am beginning to love my time with the youth at FBC Euless more and more everyday. Yesterday, Kent our youth pastor finished up the series on Joseph. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed knowing that I would not be able to teach my students the final lesson. The final lesson was on forgiveness, and its amazing how I may have been the only one in that huge room that needed to hear that. At this point in my life, I am in completely aware that I have some people to ask forgiveness of. I believe the struggles in which I am enduring are a result of that wall I have built up. I guess I figured that it would only hurt them in the long run. I am wrong for even thinking that way, because it is hurting me the most. That hurt has affected people in my life right now, even the most closest. I was always hearing of the high’s and Low’s of seminary. I was always just so confident “I’m the big bad football player, who is tough” well The High’s have been high, and the Low’s are low. I currently am experiencing a low. I am in a constant struggle with wanting to press on or pull back. See in the past, if hard times came, I would tuck my tail and run as fast as possible. These past few years, I have been strong, confident, moving forward. My desire is to continue that path. My prayer is that God would re-ignite the flame that is inside of me. I understand that my walk with my creator is not always going to be easy. I think about Sage and when he discipled me. How he always shared with me his “life verse” It is found in James.
Trials and Temptations 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. 9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. 12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
Listening and Doing 19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. 26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
As I read this again, I am still at awe at what God has for my life. The scripture is Truth, and it equips me for everything in my life. If I need wisdom, than ask! If I need to be kicked in the teeth, than kick me. Allow, me to read this and be confident in what it says, that the testing of my faith develops perseverance, nothing more. (that’s good Aaron) Verse 6 “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” Total surrender, total assurance that God is in control, and that I must totally believe that. I do, trust me, its just during these trials, the devil tries to get you to not. If your reading this, please pray for me. This past week as been the hardest week since I have been out here. (more like the past 3) If you would pray that God would just completely humble me and allow me to remain like that. My one desire should be Jesus Christ. I can admit, that recently I have not been living like that. Today, not fully understanding, but making a commitment to stop, breath, and know that God does have a plan for my life. He has never left nor forsaken me, and that he is building me up even more right now, it just may take some time to see that. I have places in my life that I must seek forgiveness from people, and also forgive people. God, please allow me to do that and not be afraid. I love you Jesus, I am blown away that you love me too. I thank you.

After church the 7th grade students all went across the street to incredible pizza. This is an old warehouse turned into pizza buffet, video games, go-carts, mini-golf, bumper cars, mini-bowling, etc SUPER COOL HANG OUT PLACE” I would have to say we had about 20-25 students who went. I was able to sit kind of in the middle between the boy and girls. Everyone was excited to see me and we enjoyed some great pizza and cookies. Kids are so funny, I was sitting there and I received a text message, so I got my phone out and they were like “COOL, is that your phone?” (It was time for me to upgrade my phone and service. The 6 month period of my great friend Stephen had come to an end. He was grateful enough to pay for my phone bill for the past 6 months. In the process, my brother-in-law is getting a Smartphone he had received broken repaired, and was going to let me have it. So, I got a new phone from Verizon for only 10 bucks, and it’s pretty cool!) I was like; “YES” I think I scored some cool points with them. After we ate, we played some games, and I watched the kids mostly. Well God, you know my heart, my desires, and I just pray again that you will use this time for your glory and nothing more.